There are days that I think about what I always wanted to do and the truth is that all I've really ever wanted was to be a Mom. I didn't intend on being the mother that I am. I had always pictured myself being home, volunteering at school, making projects in my free time, participating in PTO. I have an enormous amount of respect for mommy's that stay at home full time. Now that the girls are growing and life is busier than ever I sometimes think that life sure would be simpler if I didn't work 40+ hours a week, didn't have a blackberry that doesn't stop or wasn't on the road so much. Although Maggie and Emma may not realize it at this point, I do this for them and to give them every thing and opportunity that I can. But mostly, I just want them to look back someday and think about the wonderful times that we had together and realize that they have always been and will always be the start and end to my day.
I watched them play yesterday at the park and as I was watching them I realized that although they will probably never remember the specifics of that day or that we even went at all but I will never forget watching my daughters and thinking about how when I was a kid my Grandma said "I love you" to me constantly. It drove me crazy and when I'd ask her why she said it so much she always replied with "someday when you have little girls you will understand." She was right. I do understand it now and I am so appreciative of everything she did for me. She made me the person I am. She would have been so in love with these girls - every once in a while I see a glimpse of her in Maggie. It's a look, the way she stands or the way she says something. So, to my girls, I was in love with you from the moment I first saw you and I've loved you more every day since.